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Dec 31, 2009, 12:52am

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Result 1 of 10:

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Topic: The Beat Salesman in the World (Read 45 times)

d2s65w
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The Beat Salesman in the World
« Result #1 on Mar 13, 2009, 11:39pm »

Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."

¡¡¡¡" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."

¡¡¡¡He went into the building and spoke to the manager.

¡¡¡¡"I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. "

¡¡¡¡"You must prove you're the best," the manager said.

¡¡¡¡"I'll pass every test you give me." Harry told him.

¡¡¡¡"Good."

¡¡¡¡The manager took a box of candy out of his desk .

¡¡¡¡"Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week, you can have the job.

¡¡¡¡"That's easy," Harry said.

¡¡¡¡He took the box of candy and left the office.

¡¡¡¡Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .

¡¡¡¡He couldn't sell one.

¡¡¡¡The candy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.

¡¡¡¡At the end of the week he went back to the manager.

¡¡¡¡"I'm sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.

¡¡¡¡"Oh," said the manager. "Who?"

¡¡¡¡"The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said.

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Result 2 of 10:

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Topic: Violin Lessons (Read 56 times)

f9d5e8
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Violin Lessons
« Result #2 on Mar 13, 2009, 11:39pm »

"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.

¡¡¡¡"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.

¡¡¡¡"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.

¡¡¡¡"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."

¡¡¡¡"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.

¡¡¡¡He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.

¡¡¡¡The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.

¡¡¡¡She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.

¡¡¡¡"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.

¡¡¡¡She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.

¡¡¡¡Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.

¡¡¡¡When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."

¡¡¡¡Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.

¡¡¡¡"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"

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Result 3 of 10:

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Topic: Letters On The Skin (Read 12 times)

5gd59f
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Letters On The Skin
« Result #3 on Mar 13, 2009, 11:39pm »

Three women at the doctors office. The first one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big Y on her chest.
The doctor asks, " Why do you have a big Y on your chest?"

She replys, " Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient. When he examines her he notices a big H on her chest.

Agian, the doctor asks, " How did you get a big H on your chest?" The woman replys " My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large M.

He says, " Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?"

" NO" replys the patient " But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"

wow Power Leveling
wow Power Leveling

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Result 4 of 10:

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Topic: Italian Virgin (Read 13 times)

gf52t5
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Italian Virgin
« Result #4 on Mar 13, 2009, 11:39pm »

Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin and very inexperienced around men. So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.'

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed
his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.' 'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'

So up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs.'
'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.

'So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing the better part of three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.

'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half.'

'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother.

'This is a job for Mama!'

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wow Power Leveling

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Result 5 of 10:

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Topic: good girl (Read 790 times)

jgiodrjtpore
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Re: good girl
« Result #5 on Mar 6, 2009, 9:22pm »

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Result 6 of 10:

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Topic: good girl (Read 790 times)

jglkfdjoyr
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Re: good girl
« Result #6 on Mar 6, 2009, 9:20pm »

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Result 7 of 10:

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Topic: good girl (Read 836 times)

ghdfiouy9r
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Re: good girl
« Result #7 on Mar 6, 2009, 9:19pm »

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Result 8 of 10:

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Topic: The Close Alliance (Read 52 times)

wydy2009
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The Close Alliance
« Result #8 on Mar 1, 2009, 10:46pm »

One day a farmer went with his bullocks to plough his field. He had just turned the first furrow, when a tiger walked up to him and said, "Peace be with you, friend! How are you this fine morning?"

"The same to you, my lord, and I am pretty well, thank you!" returned the farmer, quaking with fear, but thinking it wisest to be polite.

"I am glad to hear it," replied the tiger cheerfully, "because Providence has sent me to eat your two bullocks. You are a God-fearing man, I know, so make haste and unyoke them."

"My friend, are you sure you are not making a mistake?" asked the farmer, whose courage had returned now that he knew it was merely a question of gobbling up bullocks, "because Providence sent me to plough this field, and, in order to plough, one must have oxen. Had you not better go and make further inquiries?"

"There is no occasion for delay, and I should be sorry to keep you waiting," returned the tiger. "If you'll unyoke the bullocks I'll be ready in a moment." With that the savage creature fell to sharpening his teeth and claws in a very significant manner.

But the farmer begged and prayed that his oxen might not be eaten, and promised that if the tiger would spare them, he would give in exchange a fine fat young milch cow, which his wife had tied up in the yard at home.

To this the tiger agreed, and, taking the oxen with him, the farmer went sadly homewards. Seeing him return so early from the fields, his wife, who was a stirring, busy woman, called out, "What! lazybones!-- back already, and my work just beginning!"

Then the farmer explained how he had met the tiger, and how to save the bullocks he had promised the milch cow in exchange. At this the wife began to cry, saying, "A likely story, indeed!--saving your stupid old bullocks at the expense of my beautiful cow! Where will the children get milk? and how can I cook my pottage and collops without butter?"

"All very fine, wife," retorted the farmer, "but how can we make bread without corn? and how can you have corn without bullocks to plough the fields? Pottage and collops are very nice, but it is better to do without milk and butter than without bread, so make haste and untie the cow."

"You great gaby!" wept the wife, "if you had an ounce of sense in your brain you'd think of some plan to get out of the scrape!"

"Think yourself!" cried the husband, in a rage.

"Very well!" returned the wife; "but if I do the thinking you must obey orders; I can't do both. Go back to the tiger, and tell him the cow wouldn't come along with you, but that your wife is bringing it."

The farmer, who was a great coward, didn't half like the idea of going back empty-handed to the tiger, but as he could think of no other plan he did as he was bid, and found the beast still sharpening his teeth and claws for very hunger; and when he heard he had to wait still longer for his dinner, he began to prowl about, and lash his tail, and curl his whiskers, in a most terrible manner, causing the poor farmer's knees to knock together with terror.

Now, when the farmer had left the house, his wife went to the stable and saddled the pony; then she put on her husband's best clothes, tied the turban very high, so as to make her look as tall as possible, bestrode the pony, and set off to the field where the tiger was.

She rode along, swaggering and blustering, till she came to where the lane turned into the field, and then she called out, as bold as brass, "Now, please the powers! I may find a tiger in this place; for I haven't tasted tiger's meat since yesterday, when, as luck would have it, I ate three for breakfast."

Hearing these words, and seeing the speaker ride boldly at him, the tiger became so alarmed that he turned tail, and bolted into the forest, going away at such a headlong pace that he nearly overturned his own jackal; for tigers always have a jackal of their own, who, as it were, waits at table and clears away the bones.

"My lord! my lord!" cried the jackal, "whither away so fast?"

"Run! run!" panted the tiger, "there's the very devil of a horseman in yonder fields, who thinks nothing of eating three tigers for breakfast!"

At this the jackal sI am racisted in his sleeve. "My dear lord," said he, "the sun has dazzled your eyes! That was no horseman, but only the farmer's wife dressed up as a man!"

"Are you quite sure?" asked the tiger, pausing.

"Quite sure, my lord," repeated the jackal, "and if your lordship's eyes had not been dazzled by--ahem!--the sun, your lordship would have seen her pigtail hanging down behind."

"But you may be mistaken!" persisted the cowardly tiger, "it was the very devil of a horseman to look at!"

"Who's afraid?" replied the brave jackal. "Come! don't give up your dinner because of a woman!"

"But you may be bribed to betray me!" argued the tiger, who, like all cowards, was suspicious.

"Let us go together, then!" returned the gallant jackal.

"Nay! but you may take me there and then run away!" insisted the tiger cunningly.

"In that case, let us tie our tails together, and then I can't!" The jackal, you see, was determined not to be done out of his bones.

To this the tiger agreed, and having tied their tails together in a reef-knot, the pair set off arm-in-arm.

Now the farmer and his wife had remained in the field, laughing over the trick she had played on the tiger, when, lo and behold! what should they see but the gallant pair coming back ever so bravely, with their tails tied together.

"Run!" cried the farmer, "we are lost! we are lost!"

"Nothing of the kind, you great fool!" answered his wife coolly, "if you will only stop that noise and be quiet. I can't hear myself speak!"

Then she waited till the pair were within hail, when she called out politely, "How very kind of you, dear Mr. Jackal, to bring me such a nice fat tiger! I shan't be a moment finishing my share of him, and then you can have the bones."

At these words the tiger became wild with fright, and, quite forgetting the jackal, and that reef-knot in their tails, he bolted away full tilt, dragging the jackal behind him. Bumpety, bump, bump, over the stones!--crash, scratch, patch, through the briars!

In vain the poor jackal howled and shrieked to the tiger to stop,--the noise behind him only frightened the coward more; and away he went, helter-skelter, hurry-scurry, over hill and dale, till he was nearly dead with fatigue, and the jackal was quite dead from bumps and bruises.

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Result 9 of 10:

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Topic: Eliza and Athena (Read 57 times)

wydy2009
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Eliza and Athena
« Result #9 on Mar 1, 2009, 10:46pm »

"I made this myth up for my Language arts class. I hope you like it"
Once there was a young girl named Eliza. She was the daughter of a king and so she never had to work. She became very lazy. She had her servants do everything for her.
"I am so very thirsty, and my glass is on the table. Please get it for me." she called. Immediately a servant picked the glass up from the table next to Eliza and held it up to her lips until Eliza was no longer thirsty.
The next day, Eliza was walking to dinner when her hat fell off. She called for a servant and a young man ran over, picked up the hat, dusted it off , and placed it back on Eliza's head.
She continually called for her servants to do simple tasks for her. Her father noticed her laziness and decided to punish her. He set her in a room with only a loom and some yarn. No servants were allowed in the room.
"You will stay in this room, not eating or drinking until you have woven a blanket for me. You have to do all of the work by yourself. Call for me when you are done". The king left Eliza all alone in her room.
Eliza called for her servants, but none appeared. Then she remembered her father telling her about Athena, the goddess of wisdom and handicrafts. She called for Athena over and over until finally, she fell asleep.
While she was sleeping, she had a dream. Hermes spoke to her in her dream. He said "Athena has heard your pleas for help. She is very angry with you. She will come to you and inform you of your punishment".
Eliza awoke very frightened. She then saw that there was an owl on the edge of her window. The owl spoke to her.
"I am Athena. You have called upon me to do your work. You must be punished for your laziness. You are a mortal of high importance, therefore you have no work to do. I am going to make you a lowly animal.
You will have to work constantly just to stay alive. People will look down at you in disgust. You will be killed just because you are insignificant. All of your children and their children and so on will have the same fate".
Eliza worked for the rest of her life. All of her children have the same fate.
They are doomed to be ants for the rest of their lives.

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Result 10 of 10:

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Topic: How the Elephant got his trunk (Read 22 times)

wydy2009
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How the Elephant got his trunk
« Result #10 on Mar 1, 2009, 10:46pm »

Once upon a time, there was a sad elephant. He was dirty and stinky, because he could not reach to wash his back. All the other animals didn¡¯t play with him because he was smelly.
Elephant sat under a tree, where nobody could see him. He started to cry. His head was hanging down, crying big tears. He sat and cried for days. One day, when his tears had dried up, he went to itch his head and he felt a bump on his back. Then he noticed his nose had stretched because it had got wet with all the crying and it was now a long trunk which had hit him on his back.
He went to the river and got his trunk, put it in the water and sucked the water up. Then he sprayed his back with water.
All the other animals came over to him and said ¡°you are so clean and smell so lovely. Do you want to play with us?¡±
The elephant was so happy and said ¡°yes.¡±

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